I reluctantly and finally after 9 months or so booked an appointment to have my hair cut next week. My hand was forced by my mum to do so but now i'm not worried about going at all. My hair is in a bad state at the moment and although I love the length I have finally come to terms with the thought of the chop. I also don't love the work I have to do to make it look good at this length and quality. I'm pretty damn lazy when it comes to my hair so trying hard with it isn't something that comes easily. I've been aiming to get it back to my natural colour for some time now so why not hack off the damaged /disgusting /dyed ends. I'm sure my long term hairdresser will be happy to oblige!! I also sort of miss that side fringe I rocked for quite a while but know that if i had it cut in i'd have to abandon my middle parting love.
What else do I miss from just under a year ago? My body. Looking back at bikini pictures from our portugal trip last july and just before.. I can't help but think, what happened to me? Oh that's it.. doughnuts, brownies, cakes, danishes.. why is my appetite so huge?! Onna can vouch for me.. I eat huge portions and fairly often. Yes I have a good metabolism but i'm pretty sure i'm pushing it's limits at the moment. Don't get me wrong I haven't put on a tonne of weight! And I don't think i'm fat! So please don't argue with me where this is concerned. I've been told many people would kill for my shape but I can't help it, I'm just uncomfortable. I was at a completely healthy weight before and now i've gone up a size and hate my thighs even more than I did then. I'm not as confident as I was and it's high time I did something about it otherwise i'm just going to be hiding under kaftans and loose light clothes through summer, even though I shouldn't.. my confidence will crash further and so I will. I don't want to be that girl. I want /need my confidence back as it's affecting other parts of my life. I know that I am going to have to work for it .. that's the scary bit! But I will do it :) I'm actually thinking of getting the other half involved in some sort of fitness regime.. I just have to convince him that seeing as he hasn't been to the gym in a while it would be good for both of us. Although failing that I have Onna on hand as my distant but strict fitness trainer ;)
This is pretty much an inspirational post for me, I wanted to get out how I feel about myself and express what I intend to do about it! It'll be a big step for me to get off my ass to be perfectly honest. Any tips for fitness or anything at all relating to this post please comment below. I know the blogging community is so supportive and i'd love to get your tips and tricks!
Thanks a lot for reading.
♥ abby
Yes I have a good metabolism but i'm pretty sure i'm pushing it's limits at the moment.
ReplyDelete- This quote literally sums me up at the moment. I'm a small girl and always have been but does that mean i should eat like a pig!? It's not healthy irrespective of any resulting weight gain.
On a diff note i think that eating healthier and exercising will help you feel happier and healthier and that can only be beneficial for you!! P.S i think you're looking stunninggg i loves your hair xxx
I have just started the 30day shred and it's great. Like you, I don't think I'm fat but I want to lose a couple of pounds, tone up for my holidays and get my cardio better so I do 2 days on, 1 day off it and I'm really feeling it :) xxx
ReplyDeleteNever go back and look at old pictures of yourself! Its makes you feel awful! I did it the other week and realised how much bloody weight I have managed to pack on. In a way though doing it helps you to realise maybe you should make some changes (in my case Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred).
ReplyDeleteAs for the hair, I think that the grass 'was' always greener if that makes any sense. I look back at old pics and think 'wow my hair looked good then, should I change it back to that', but at the time of the picture I know I was thinking 'god I hate my hair and want a change.' I think you look great with a middle parting so I would keep it! xx
I feel that, sometimes I look at photos of when i'm 18 (bad idea- 5 years worth of change), and although im only maybe a size bigger it still makes me feel blurgh. I'm at the stage where you are with your hair, I need to change, its awful condition but i have no inspiration on what to do with my hair... and if it helps in the past few weeks (meaning about 3) i've put on half a stone.. ludacrous! I'm to short to be carrying any sort of extra weight.
ReplyDeleteA new haircut might be nice :) spruce things up for summer, I always find change makes me feel good xx
I always look at pictures of myself from like a year ago and hate how I've become - I'm scared that I've grown too comfortable in my relationship and it's let everything else fall down, I just don't seem to take care of myself anymore.
ReplyDeleteThat's something that I'm trying to fix by making more effort to do simple stuff like my hair and moisturise more, and doing simple yoga again.
For the record, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you but if there are things about yourself that you're not happy about then ofcourse change them, just as long as you stay happy and healthy and as lovely as you are now :) xxx
I know exactly how you feel. I'm not fat I'm just not how I want to be when ever I say this to people they instantly go.. Wooaah you don't need to loose weight. Are you ill? etc etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI just know I want to tone up so I can look and feel better. We both know I'm also a big fan of the brownies. Maybe we can do something together? I put my typial gym routine on my blog and I fully intend on getting back into it for summer want to join me?
I am planning on going to the gym tonight eek! But then indulging in pancakes. Its almost as if I think 'I've done exercise therefore I'm allowed a treat' I need to stop this thinking.
As for your hair I love but like you said a trim will make it healthier! Don't look back only look forwards! xoxo
Well done on making the hair appointment, pointless having long hair if it's in bad condition. I have a really fast metabolism too, i can eat almost anything i want but it's not about the weight itself, more about the slubbiness feeling? Best of luck sweetie x
ReplyDeleteJen, it's great knowing it's not just me that feels this way! And it really is about feeling healthy and good within myself more than anything that makes me want to sort myself out. you're right :) Aw thanks :) I don't think i'll change it too much on thursday now, we will see what happens! xx
ReplyDeleteI've heard a lot about 30 day shreds Amy but i'm not really sure what it entails.. definitely something I should look into a little more I think. I also like your way of working! That way it seems less like a chore and doesn't take over completely xx
Hah Emily I think we'll no better for next time now! It's nice in a way because of memories and everything. But sometimes seeing how much you've changed isn't all that pretty. I suppose it depends. I'm happy with some things but not others. I really really think you're right about the hair! I definitely do not want to go back to it being that short again and i'm loving my centre parting at the moment so I don't want to change that for a while yet. Thanks :) xx
Wow Peacock Lace I really don't think looking back 5 years is a good move. I mean i'm only looking back 1 or 2 years but at the age of 17 I was an unhealthy weight so it's not a good thing to do. I think there's a limit to what we can look back on and want to change back because lets face it sometimes we can be really unrealistic with our aims. i think maybe try looking back 1 or 2 and see how you feel then? :) I definitely won't be looking any further into my teen years! lol xx
Oh Heather this made me sad :( I know completely how you feel and that's what I think happened to be in some respects and why i'm realising it now. Don't get me wrong my boyfriend and I haven't been together for a year yet but we are completely settled in our own place and everything so you can see why i'd just stop taking care of my health. I think things like moisturising ect are a definite good way to start yourself back up again. Dress up nice, just because and you'll start feeling more perky :) On another note, You've totally made me want to delve into the realms of yoga! Why didn't I think of that :D Thank you so much for your comment and I hope you feel lots better soon! xxx
We should definitely spur each other on with it I think Sarah. Good for you going to the gym! That's not an area of fitness I am willing too explore to be honest. Too expensive and judgmental down here -_- Haha I can see how people often think like that.. though i'm so used to daily treats it's not something that would cross my mind. And actually after working out the last thing I want to do it eat strangely! Looking forwards now for sure! :) xx
Too true Sadie! I think that's what i've just about come to realise. The feeling is the worst! I feel so unhealthy, know exactly what you mean. Thank you :) x
Your hair with the fringe does look quite lovely, but I admit that the upkeep is a bit annoying! That's why I've let mine grow out. Plus your hair does look great parted in the middle! As for the weight gain, I'm totally right there with you. I've gained weight for many reasons - birth control, boyfriend, and just my college lifestyle of binge-eating whenever I have the time, and eating the easiest thing, and most of the time it's so unhealthy! I'm trying to get back to my old weight, as well. I wish you luck! It's annoying but it feels good to sweat it out.
ReplyDeletex
I know exactly how you feel. Since moving overseas i have gained so much weight and now i feel uncomfortable and everytime i say something about it i get the you are crazy you are not fat speech. My hair is also annoying me,. I have no idea what to do with it. Hope you stay motivated i am really trying to! xx
ReplyDeleteI'm the same, much prefer the old me and went through a phase of constantly dieting, colouring my hair, changing my make up, etc to try and get there. Then I realised that I'm just not that person anymore, I'm 25 not 18. I've just had to adapt my life to that now. I still want to be slim again but not so desperate as I was before. xx
ReplyDelete:) I'm on exercise boot camp atm - I'll make up a fitness regime for you and send you scary angry texts to make sure you've done them :P x
ReplyDeleteI can definitely vouch for 30 day shred - Its pretty awesome! I've not managed to get past 10 days in a row though, but I lost an inch off my stomach from doing it.
ReplyDeleteI put on 2 stone since last summer due to PCOS so I know how you feel. I don't think I'm fat, but I'm not how I'd like to picture myself in my head - I don't feel 100% me yet.
I'm studying Physiotherapy and thats the biggest thrive to make me go to the gym and I've kept at it pretty well. Oh the irony in an unfit Physio? Well its not going to be me! I'm currently doing intervals at the gym, and a bunch of exercises. I must be at *some* sort of benefit 'cause I know what I'm doing! It really annoyed me when the gym tried to give me a programme that I *knew* wasn't effective for what I was asking for - I wonder where their reasoning comes from half the time as they seem to just bunch a load of things together, meh!!
Defo give the 30 day shred a try - But its not a 'lifestyle' choice if you like, and I think thats the BEST way to get fit and GET THAT AMAZING BODY back! (btw, you look amazing now too)! Have you heard of couch to 5k too? :D
http://fridayisforever.blogspot.com/
i can definitely relate to this, especially with my body, i've put weight on just due to being happy and comfortable with my life which is obviously great but i do miss my old stomach/legs :( i'm trying to be better with my eating but i just have NO motivation for exercise, so i sympathise with you!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this Abby, I can totally relate to it and think I need to get on a health kick asap too (: I really want to be a bit more toned and healthier in general for the summer so I'm not out of breath after walking the shortest of distances. xxxx
ReplyDeleteDitto! I'm really uncomfortable with my weight at the minute, a couple of years ago I was sooo much thinner. But I've always eaten what I want when I want and hardly ever exercise. It's gonna take a while to get out the habit!
ReplyDeleteI've got to that point though where my body wont let me carry on this way! So i've joined the gym wooo! It's a start to 'the new healthy me' hopefully i'll be body confident for summer!
And hope the hairdressers goes well! My hair was long last summer but in terrible condition so I went for the snip! Got it properly cut off into a frankie standford crop.. shaved in some places! :S at the time it was the best thing I ever did though, really liberating! I think you just need a change now and again. But I eventually got bored so I'm growing it to shoulder length now ha..
i try take the attitude 'it's only hair'.. try to anyway ha
Good luck with it! You'll have to post up a pic of your new do :)
Chaz x
Ok, 1. I absolutely love you with a side fringe!!! I think it's the absolute perfect hairstyle for you.
ReplyDeleteAs for fitness, I've been doing wii fit plus training which has helped me out a lot. I really want to start running (like outside) but I thought I'd ease myself in this way first. I'm also going to buy a dance game/dvd cos I think it would be a fun way to keep fit. If you don't have a wii though, what about getting an xbox kinect? Or the wii fit activites are ones that you can do without a wii... like step or hula hooping. You could do ten minutes of each and then some light jogging and muscles exercises/stretches to make you stronger. And then just build yourself up to increase time/distance. Good luck with it! You'll feel amazing once you start getting into it.
I can completely and utterly relate to this post. I've never really had body issues and I am by no means over weight but when I look back at photos of me a year ago I was soo much more toned, not a beer belly in sight and I just looked so confident. NOw I keep finding myself sucking in or hiding behind baggy clothes.
ReplyDeleteThere definitely is something to be said about being in a relationship. I dont think its about letting yourself go, is simply the sheer amount of take outs that are the problem for me! Cant remember he last time I sat in without running to shop to get a bag of sweets beer or ordering in!
good luck with the fitness, the only difference between now an then for me was that i simply WALKED everywher. Ive never don exrcise in my life but I had no car back then and walking was my only transport and its enjoyable and free, give it a go! xx
aww abby. i can definitely sympathise, i hate how my figures changed over the last year. i've always eaten alot but since coming to university i guess im just not burning off as much as i used to. its not like i've got fat, im just not toned anywhere any more and on a personal level its driving me insane!!!
ReplyDeletegood luck with your fitness regime im really really trying to establish one! and your side fringe looks nice but i really love your centre parting xx
Thank you so much for the response!! You've alle been an inspiration, it's fantastic! I'm so pleased that i'm not mad and some of you feel the same way as I do at the moment. I'm going to give running a go once a week I think, really ease myself in! And i'll grab a cheap fitness video too I think. Probably feel like a goof doing it but all I want to do is tone up and feel healthy again.
ReplyDeleteYou girls are awesome :) <3
ohh you do look amazing with a side fringe , but i know what you mean about the middle parting love
ReplyDeleteI haver kept the middle parting :) I remembered how much the side fringe used you wind me up! :P The time has passed :) x
ReplyDelete