the old me

8 March 2011

Do you ever find yourself missing an old part of you? I do.. often. I look back through my photos and blog posts every once in a while and find myself missing my old hair, body or ease of life. There are certain things I wish I could go back to but know I can't and to be honest it's better that I don't. We all have to grow up some time right.. and things change. Sometimes for the better but old habits die hard and I miss them, some of them!!

I reluctantly and finally after 9 months or so booked an appointment to have my hair cut next week. My hand was forced by my mum to do so but now i'm not worried about going at all. My hair is in a bad state at the moment and although I love the length I have finally come to terms with the thought of the chop. I also don't love the work I have to do to make it look good at this length and quality. I'm pretty damn lazy when it comes to my hair so trying hard with it isn't something that comes easily. I've been aiming to get it back to my natural colour for some time now so why not hack off the damaged /disgusting /dyed ends. I'm sure my long term hairdresser will be happy to oblige!! I also sort of miss that side fringe I rocked for quite a while but know that if i had it cut in i'd have to abandon my middle parting love.

What else do I miss from just under a year ago? My body. Looking back at bikini pictures from our portugal trip last july and just before.. I can't help but think, what happened to me? Oh that's it.. doughnuts, brownies, cakes, danishes.. why is my appetite so huge?! Onna can vouch for me.. I eat huge portions and fairly often. Yes I have a good metabolism but i'm pretty sure i'm pushing it's limits at the moment. Don't get me wrong I haven't put on a tonne of weight! And I don't think i'm fat! So please don't argue with me where this is concerned. I've been told many people would kill for my shape but I can't help it, I'm just uncomfortable. I was at a completely healthy weight before and now i've gone up a size and hate my thighs even more than I did then. I'm not as confident as I was and it's high time I did something about it otherwise i'm just going to be hiding under kaftans and loose light clothes through summer, even though I shouldn't.. my confidence will crash further and so I will. I don't want to be that girl. I want /need my confidence back as it's affecting other parts of my life. I know that I am going to have to work for it .. that's the scary bit! But I will do it :) I'm actually thinking of getting the other half involved in some sort of fitness regime.. I just have to convince him that seeing as he hasn't been to the gym in a while it would be good for both of us. Although failing that I have Onna on hand as my distant but strict fitness trainer ;)

This is pretty much an inspirational post for me, I wanted to get out how I feel about myself and express what I intend to do about it! It'll be a big step for me to get off my ass to be perfectly honest. Any tips for fitness or anything at all relating to this post please comment below. I know the blogging community is so supportive and i'd love to get your tips and tricks!

Thanks a lot for reading.

♥ abby